Spring is a season of transitions. For me, the biggest transition is returning to Calgary for the summer. I’m trying really hard to have a smooth transition, but there is so much about this city that I feel is holding me back — but I’m trying.
I’m used to making these transitions — for someone who lived in the same house for 18 years, moving cities, Calgary to Ottawa to Calgary to Toronto back to Calgary is a huge adjustment. Each time I make the change it seems more and more difficult. Each time I leave Calgary I feel more disconnected, more like I don’t fit in here. Often I feel like I’ve outgrown the city, that I need to be near the big lights in the big city — but I’m trying to want to be here.
When I think of transitions, I think back to my New Years Resolutions, to the things that I wanted to accomplish this year — the changes I wanted to make in my life.
This year, I decided to truly hold myself accountable. In the first quarter of this year, I have managed to maintain some of my resolutions. I have successfully stayed in the douchebag-free zone. I feel that this is beneficial, because I have been taken more control of my life, and putting myself first. For the stage I am at in my life, this is really important. Though this accomplishment is related to the fact that I have also kept myself out of relationships — negative or otherwise — I have discovered that I enjoy being single, and that I don’t want to be tied down to someone at this point in my life.
My second resolution, was to be healthier this year. Honestly, I have kind of half-assed this so far. Yes, I have somewhat been watching what I eat, but I also binge on junk now and again. Being home means that I naturally eat better as I don’t have to budget my grocery bill, and there is someone else to help with the meal prep. It makes life a lot easier for me, especially now that I am working full time. I’ll be honest though, and say that I hardly worked out this semester. Yes, I occasionally went swimming, ran a few times and went to the gym, but I was highly inconsistent. Currently, I’m working on incorporating yoga back into my life, since I start walking 30km a day for work. I feel better when I do yoga, and I think this may just work out this resolution. Yoga brings balance to my life, and makes me forget everything going around me — it is helping me to stay grounded and relaxed in Calgary, something that I always find difficult.
I can proudly say that I have been successful on my third resolution, which was about putting more effort into my appearance. I know this is probably my most vain resolution, but at least I didn’t resolve to drop 5 pounds or something silly like that. I have been adding more accessories into my life — especially with the purchase of a fabulous belt, my cousin’s friend Naomi made. She is behind Flight Path Designs, and my new belt (which I will post pictures of at a later date) is really helping me out of a schlump.
Lastly, I have managed to read a little bit more. So far, non-school related I have read 2.5 books. Though they are all chick-lit, I am easing myself in. I have a few more books to read that are non-fiction and of a slightly more intelligent nature — but more on that later.
Overall, I think I have been doing very well on my new year’s resolutions. Now, I just need to find the happy medium between where I want to be and where I am right now. Location wise that puts me at about Winnipeg, and well — I think I’d rather put up with Calgary for 3.5 more months. I’m working on the mindset, but it’s difficult to maintain a positive attitude when something just feels off.